Geo Soto has never gotten Lou Piniella high.
Ted Lilly has never gotten cornbread from his favorite Ted Heads.
Ted Lilly has never taught Randy Wells the art of badassery.
Mike Fontenot and Ryan Theriot have never had a tickle fight.
Carlos Zambrano has never ejected an ump.
Reed Johnson has never told Milton Bradley to calm the fuck down.
Micah Hoffpauir has never been hassled.
Sean Marshall has never made a wish on his…balls.
Ryan Freel has never thanked Jesus for his time as a Cub.
Ryan Theriot has never done a little dance during warm ups.
